What about......Aug 27th

For those that know me they know what this date means to me.  But for those that don't .......

Aug 27, 2008 was the day our world fell, dropped, exploded into a million pieces, the bottom completely fell out.... it was the day we lost our son in a motorcycle accident.  Okay, we didn't really lose him, we know where he is, so why is this the phrase that is used.  I use it, I hear everyone else use it, but it still doesn't make sense to me.  Is it because of my faith that I know he's not lost, alone, searching for someone, something..... anyway, that's a whole other discussion.......back to the date.

For the past 5 years we - family & friends - have gathered at our house (around that table that I shared earlier).  We receive tons and tons or texts, calls, emails and people that stop by ...... which we absolutely love!!  We love that people remember, that they know what a horrible day it is.  We have thought about this day - We want this day to feel better, be different, not be so terribly sad.  We would really like to wipe this day of the calendar.  But, we can't.

So, if we could put our spin on this one, this day, we would proclaim it Jason's Day.  We would play basketball and soccer, go fishing, leave some tire marks on the road, go to the fair, and yes, enjoy a beer for him while listening to some very loud music.  That's what we're gonna aim for next year.  We will never forget what this days means and we will still look for all your texts, emails, phone calls and visits ( these are what get us through the day and make us stronger ) and, you're always welcome to come fishing with us.

It wasn't planning on putting this on here, but I write here what's in my heart and on my mind.

I remember the day of visiting hours before the funeral, a old friend said to me "time heals, Pam, but there will always be a scar".  I get it..... I wish I didn't.  The scar hasn't healed and I now know it never will. 

So, what about this scar - every so often it "acts up", it might be August 27 or it could be any other day ......... it's like an old battle wound.  Some days I can put a Band-Aid on it and it's okay and other days........ let's just say it "acts up".